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Sunday, 15 April 2012
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Confrontation:
a meeting of persons face to face.an open conflict of opposing ideas, forces, etc.a bringing together of ideas, themes, etc., for comparison. (dictionary.com)
Why are Christians so afraid of confrontation? Why do we lower ourselves to the mumblings and murmurs that not only cut each other down but also lay one out for the slaughter. I'm exceptionally interested in seeing the unity of the Church, yet fear that I may never see it.
Recently, I have been under a lot of stress and frustrations of being the black sheep. In a dramatic manner I considered changing my blog name to something that seemed hysterically appropriate: "Dark Side of the Moon: the Home of the Black Sheep."
In my prayer time I have broken down all the emotion and poured it out in writing. Much of the commentary on my life consisted of the words, "I am alone." This phrase has multiple meanings behind it including but not limited to: intellectually, emotionally, physically, and spiritually in my time of need. While knowing that I have friends, prayer partners, family, and God always near; the emotion of loneliness is formed from the lack of accepting another's acceptance. (a cruel irony I know)
As a common practice, after I pray I open my NIV bible for some light reading. Often times, this is where I receive my answers to my prayers. Tonight was an exception to the rule because not only did I receive the answers to my written prayers but also the prayers that were written on my heart still not verbalized or otherwise. In Luke ch 44 And Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan and was led by the Spirit in the wilderness 2 for forty days, being tempted by the devil. And he ate nothing during those days. And when they were ended, he was hungry. 3 The devil said to him, “If you are the Son of God, command this stone to become bread.” 4 And Jesus answered him, “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone.’” 5 And the devil took him up and showed him all the kingdoms of the world in a moment of time, 6 and said to him, “To you I will give all this authority and their glory, for it has been delivered to me, and I give it to whom I will. 7 If you, then, will worship me, it will all be yours.” 8 And Jesus answered him, “It is written,
“‘You shall worship the Lord your God,
and him only shall you serve.’”9 And he took him to Jerusalem and set him on the pinnacle of the temple and said to him, “If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down from here, 10 for it is written,
“‘He will command his angels concerning you,
to guard you,’11 and
“‘On their hands they will bear you up,
lest you strike your foot against a stone.’”12 And Jesus answered him, “It is said, ‘You shall not put the Lord your God to the test.’” 13 And when the devil had ended every temptation, he departed from him until an opportune time.
Jesus Begins His Ministry
14 And Jesus returned in the power of the Spirit to Galilee, and a report about him went out through all the surrounding country. 15 And he taught in their synagogues, being glorified by all.
Jesus Rejected at Nazareth
16 And he came to Nazareth, where he had been brought up. And as was his custom, he went to the synagogue on the Sabbath day, and he stood up to read. 17 And the scroll of the prophet Isaiah was given to him. He unrolled the scroll and found the place where it was written,
20 And he rolled up the scroll and gave it back to the attendant and sat down. And the eyes of all in the synagogue were fixed on him. 21 And he began to say to them, “Today this Scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing.” 22 And all spoke well of him and marveled at the gracious words that were coming from his mouth. And they said, “Is not this Joseph's son?” 23 And he said to them, “Doubtless you will quote to me this proverb, ‘Physician, heal yourself.’ What we have heard you did at Capernaum, do here in your hometown as well.” 24 And he said, “Truly, I say to you, no prophet is acceptable in his hometown.18 “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me,
because he has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives
and recovering of sight to the blind,
to set at liberty those who are oppressed,
19 to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor.”
This is a passage that I have always connected with the most. Jesus was constantly surrounded by people... and yet in his most painful times - he was alone. Here in his temptation, and even in his crucifixion. In Jesus ministry he says that we should not expect anything different. But the Holy Spirit is with us. That is our hope, and hope does in God is never a disappointment. We just have to hang on long enough to see the light at the end of this very long and dark tunnel.
So within confrontation. It may be hard to approach someone, or be approached. But if done in love, prayer and with thanksgiving we will realize in those moments - WE are NOT alone.
Monday, 02 April 2012
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Darkness / Comfort / Coping / ADD
It's been a rough week or so where symptoms of craziness has been perpetual. Figuring out what the next step to take can literally make a sane person ready to sign the papers to be committed. But we all have our coping mechanisms don't we? I'm working on trying to figure out what mine are and if they are appropriate for where I am in life.
As a teen I would crash into my room, draw the shades, and simply fall into whatever music that plays from my laptop. This is one that I still use. I find myself not actually being proactive in this moment. In the moment of feeling the comfort of my blankets I make no decisions, and allow the plans and the stresses just disappear. Nothing changes.
I've realized that this isn't any better than what alcoholics or drug abusers do. In the end the issue is still there and the hole that the missing piece of information gives me is still there when I get up, get dressed, and paste the smile on my face.
There are many ways that we handle our stress. We go out with friends, we shop, we devour food, or we don't eat at all. We facebook, or procrastinate in many many other ways. We take on more and more responsibility so that we are moving so fast that we don't actually feel the stress of what we really need to face.
I won't pour out all the drama of the decisions I have to make, but there are choices we must make. Real responsibility means that we look our problems in the eye and say, "OK, let's get it taken care of." And of course this is my own opinion, but this coping mechanism is where ADD sets in. We avoid our situation so much or distract ourselves so much that our minds actually kick in ADD or some other mental situation and this is how we handle stress. (Not to discredit people who legitimately have a chemical imbalance.)
I wish I had answers on how to properly figure all these things out but it's quite potential that if certain things do not change for me, I will avoid the issues so much that my whole world will fall apart and it will only be me to blame.
If anyone has a healthy way to process, I do hope you share it. Some healthy things that I do:
Painting/Art
Reading Scripture
Journal
Run - as long as I don't have loud music playing
Walk in the woods
Seek wisdom
Write poetry
What are some of yours?
Tuesday, 27 March 2012
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Responsibility
So remember that time that I said I was going to write a new blog every Wednesday, then I failed at writing a blog the very next following Wednesday... and the one after that? Yeah, sorry about that. But I've learned something about responsibility since then.
1.) Responsibility is doing the thing that you are suppose to do without having been told to do it.
2.) When you are unable to carry out your responsibilities because of something that is out of your control... relax! There's no reason to blame yourself!
I've recently been on a new med that makes me extremely sleepy and my doctor upped my dosage! This makes it difficult to stay awake and get homework done, clean the room that my room mate and I both live in, or sometimes it's just a matter of waking up at a decent time to get things done.
3.) It's also important to know what is in your control and what is not.
I'm having to call out of work tonight last minuet because what I thought was an issue with the med I was on just proves to be the flu that I got from a co-worker. The best I can do is just sit here and type... hoping that my words piece together some kind of understandable communication to the people that read this blog.
Anyway, do what you can, and control what you can. Sometimes you don't even realize that you can't do something until you fail. It is better if you pass it on to someone who can do, rather than fall on your butt and take the team with you.
Good Luck world, live passionately but act responsibly.
Friday, 09 March 2012
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Two days too late.... Kony 2012
The past couple of days I have been wanting to post but couldn't seem to get around to it with one final for one class and a mid-term in another. I've been extremely exhausted and just not have had time to work on the Romans info for you guys. In the middle of one of these nights that I barely had time to complete my homework in, everyone had been talking the Kony 2012 video that's been posted on Youtube.com. I, being a pretty big Invisible Children supporter was excited to watch the video. I was hoping for an update with this new video since the last one I watched was several years ago.
So I sit down at the computer, pull the video up, and all i see is the same stuff as the last video. People talking about how they are afraid of being kidnapped, and the mental distortion from such a battle. It got me thinking: What the world? So I did some digging....
http://www.examiner.com/conservative-politics-in-national/the-sad-truth-about-kony-2012
Made some really good information about this non-profit ministry.
"But more in line with Invisible Children itself, the organization is not as innocent as it would like the many followers sharing its flagship video to believe. Financial reports uncovered by Grant Oyston suggest the organization spent $8,676,614 in 2011, allocating a mere 32% to direct aid, while the remainder was put primarily towards advocacy projects such as the major video and concurrent outreach efforts."
Granted there is a lot of destruction in Uganda and there have been so many wars in that area. Why can't people just get a long? I got out my shovel and started to dig. I looked through all the bible atlas i could get my hands on and still found nothing on biblical Uganda. Supposedly, it just didn't exist according to the writers of Old and New Testament Historians. The farthest the writings explore is Thebes of Greece, which is understandable. But I'm curious about the interactions between God and Bible time Uganda. How did they get from point A to point B?
One source gave a quick background:About 500 B.C. Bantu-speaking peoples migrated to the area now called Uganda. By the 14th century, three kingdoms dominated, Buganda (meaning "state of the Gandas"), Bunyoro, and Ankole. Uganda was first explored by Europeans as well as Arab traders in 1844. An Anglo-German agreement of 1890 declared it to be in the British sphere of influence in Africa, and the Imperial British East Africa Company was chartered to develop the area. The company did not prosper financially, and in 1894 a British protectorate was proclaimed. Few Europeans permanently settled in Uganda, but it attracted many Indians, who became important players in Ugandan commerce.
Uganda became independent on Oct. 9, 1962. Sir Edward Mutesa, the king of Buganda (Mutesa II), was elected the first president, and Milton Obote the first prime minister, of the newly independent country. With the help of a young army officer, Col. Idi Amin, Prime Minister Obote seized control of the government from President Mutesa four years later.Read more: Uganda: Maps, History, Geography, Government, Culture, Facts, Guide & Travel/Holidays/Cities — Infoplease.com http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0108066.html#ixzz1oeYyA0vm
Another source: It has experienced the incursion of various tribes, a long period of colonial rule, and dictatorial regimes of self government which have invited war, rebellions and bloodshed.
http://www.mapsofworld.com/uganda/history/
The last source I found:Written in the soil and the fossils on the floor of the western Rift Valley, where Acheulian culture is well established on the shores of Lake Albert and in the Semuliki and Kagera river valleys, is evidence of human presence in Uganda, beginning emerge around 500,000 years ago.
By around 50,000 years ago the living in the land now known Uganda had discovered fire, which enabled them to move into the more forested areas around the margins of Lake Victoria. Some 40,000 years later they had conquered most of the regions of Uganda and were living throughout the land, from the Ruwenzori Mountains to Mount Elgon; from the Lake Victoria Basin to Karamoja.
Upto 500 BC it is not easy to put a label on the communities living in Uganda. Although human speech had developing for a long time before this, it is not possible to identify specific language groups or tribes. All we know is that Uganda was inhabited by Negroid peoples living in very small communities.
Ugandans speak Bantu languages in the west, south and, to a large extent, to the east; Sudanic languages to the north-west; and Nilotic languages in the rest of the north. The Bantu languages are closely related and mutually understood.
The Bantu-speaking people of Uganda are associated with the beginning of agriculture and and iron working. Agriculture practices began around 5000 BC and were augmented by the establishment of iron-working industry between 600 BC and 300 BC and the introduction of south-eastern Asian crops - such as yarms and bananas around AD 500. By AD1000, the agricultural Bantu were well established in western and southern Uganda and were organised in small political units, of which the clan was the norm.
Also setting the grassland regions of western and southern Uganda during the late first millennium AD were the pastoralists associated with the Sanga (long-horned and big-humped) cattle. The Sanga originated in Ethiopia and had spread as far south as Zimbabwe by the seventh century AD. These pastoralists - formerly apeakers of Cushitic languages - adopted the Bantu languages as they settled among them. By the beginning of the second millennium AD these pastoralists - now the Bahima and the Bahuma of western Uganda - were solidly establishing themselves between the Kafu and Kagera rivers. It was as a result of the fusion of these pastoralists and Bantu agriculturalists that pastoral aristocracies such as Bachwezi and the Bahinda emerged in western and central Uganda.
The Sudanic and Nilotic linguistic groups were firmly established in northern Uganda - as well as southern Sudan and south-western Ethiopia - by the first millennium BC but were largely concentrated in the southern Sudan. During the first millennium AD a Sudanic people, the Madi, moved south into the largely Bantu region of Bunyoro and established one of the earliest recognizable dynasties in Bunyoro, the Batembuzi. The western Nilotic speakers from the Sudan began to move southwards into the northern Uganda in the 15th century and into eastern Uganda in the following century. www.safariafrika.com/ugandahistory.html
Basically, there is not much information given in general about Uganda. Perhaps, the past Apostles failed in the same place that we are currently failing, reaching the lost in Uganda. Constantly at war in these times of a broken world. Then and now! When the Word needed to be shared to all the ends of the world, very specific places got over looked. Paul, Peter, Barnabas, Timothy, and all the other Apostles missed an important chunk of the world. Granted to work they did was extremely great and we wouldn't be where we are now without them teaching and preaching. But then again, Uganda wouldn't be where it is if it were not for what they did. The end story is. Something was going to get missed.
Uganda has been ruled by tribes, and then dictators. Uganda has only seen war. And now America is ONCE AGAIN placing their nose in a places that it doesn't belong! We're going into ONE country to arrest ONE man who may or may not even BE IN Uganda! And when we remove him what will happen to the country? Uganda will only be taken over by someone who is just as corrupt and America will only go more into debt.
Long story short: Don't promote unless you're going to support a missionary to go over and make a Spiritual change. The war is what it is, and it is NOT our issue. There are more bad people over there than we can count. If we remove one another will arise. We need to either have a better plan, or simply try to reach the broken. God's power can change leaders. The Holy Spirit can make a difference!
Friday, 02 March 2012
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Counselor: when is it time to say 'Goodbye'
For several years now I've seen several #counselors. My current one has aggravated me, hurt my feelings, pushed me to the edge and yet I don't feel like anything has really changed in my life. Oh except, she's got me going to a regular doctor, #watching what I eat, watching how much sleep I am getting and things like that. She hasn't even opened the door of #dealing with the drama but instead has put me on a balanced lifestyle. And no matter how much that has irritated me, she's done a great job. She's not everything I want, but she's everything I need. She cut me some slack and has taught me that it's ok to avoid the #stress right now. There is still a lot of work to be done but even though I feel like I can do this without her doesn't mean that I should.
I once had a counselor that I knew I just needed to talk some things out. I didn't care if she believed anything that I said or even if she cared. One day she looks at me and says, "I don't think we need to meet anymore. You've got all the answers you need." My jaw dropped. Sure I had the answers I needed because I go to a bible college, I know the answers but I have yet to apply them and I learn how to apply them by talking them out. It was time to say goodbye to her.
I had another counselor how told an entire class what I delt with. I said goodbye to him quickly. Could have sued but that wouldn't have done any good. He didn't know any better.
I guess what my counselor is to me, is just a mom figure. Don't get me wrong, my mom is amazing. But in that moment of seeking counsel, you have to decide what you want. In the first case, weather I like it or not, it's exactly what I need right now. In the second case, I got an older sister sort of deal and near the end she taught me to suck it up and deal. And in the third case, it taught me to be cautious in who I trust. No counselor is the same, and it may take a few failed meetings with different people before you figure it all out.
My counselor changed our appointment a few times and I almost lost it. One thing I can't stand is someone who can't figure it out. I don't mind one minor change but sometimes it just hits me wrong. We finally made out meeting and we worked it out. But it wasn't til today that I brought up how it made me feel. She's much more aware now and she apologized. I know that she didn't know or do it on purpose and now my relationship with her is a little better. Had she not cared what had happened to me, I would have said 'Goodbye'.
Communication is the most important. If you leave before all is said and done then you're never going to feel right about saying goodbye. Get it all out there. It's going to be messy and you might shed a tear but it'll be better and give you a clean break for when you do leave.
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Pulse
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What if we didn't have tomorrow? Are you prepared to leave it all now?
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Everyone Please pray for Mr. Duren. He was in afgan. and was attacked. Suffering from internal bleeding. He's in surgery now in germ
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If I knew back then, what I know now, I wouldn't be who I am today... the question is... is that ok?
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I am who I am, and who I am is found "in Christ" (Ephesians.)








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